Ulwalamano Lweemvakalelo: Luyintoni kwaye Zithini Iimpawu?

Xa abantu becinga ngokungathembeki, badla ngokucinga ngokuqhatha ngokwasemzimbeni. Nangona kunjalo, ubudlelwane bunokonakala ngeendlela ezingabonakaliyo ezingabandakanyi ukunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni rhoqo. Enye yeendlela zokungcatsha ezingathathelwa ngqalelo luthando olungokweemvakalelo, olunokuthi lukhule kancinci kancinci kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngaphandle kokuba umntu aqonde ngokupheleleyo ukuba kwenzeka ntoni.

Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kubhekisa kulwalamano olusondeleyo, olusondeleyo nomntu ongaphandle kolwalamano oluzibophelele olubandakanya ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo, imfihlo, okanye uxinzelelo lothando. Oku kunokuquka ukwabelana ngeengcinga zobuqu ezingaxoxwanga neqabane, ukufuna intuthuzelo ngokweemvakalelo komnye umntu, unxibelelwano lwangasese rhoqo, okanye ukuphuhlisa uvakalelo oluqinileyo lokunamathela oluqala ukuthatha indawo yokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo ngaphakathi kolwalamano lokuqala.

Ngokungafaniyo nobuhlobo obuqhelekileyo, imicimbi yeemvakalelo idla ngokubandakanya inqanaba elinzulu lokutyala imali ngokweemvakalelo elinokufiphaza imida. Kwiimeko ezininzi, abantu ababandakanyekayo basenokungayiboni indlela abaziphethe ngayo njengento engafanelekanga ekuqaleni, nto leyo eyenza kube nzima nangakumbi ukuyichonga nokuyilungisa. Nangona kunjalo, ekuhambeni kwexesha, olu nxibelelwano lunokudala umgama phakathi kwamaqabane kwaye lukhokelele kwiimvakalelo zokungcatshwa, umona, okanye ukungathembani.

Ukuqonda imiba yeemvakalelo kubalulekile ekugcineni ubudlelwane obusempilweni. Kweli nqaku, siza kuhlola ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ngokwenene ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo, kutheni kusenzeka, kunye neempawu eziphambili zesilumkiso ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe. Siza kuthetha nangendlela yokuqaphela imida yeemvakalelo ngaphambi kokuba iwele kunye nendlela izibini ezinokusabela ngayo ngendlela eyakhayo nephilileyo.

Kuthetha ukuthini ukukopa ngokweemvakalelo?

Ukukopa ngokweemvakalelo kuchazwa njengolwalamano olusondeleyo nolusondeleyo nomntu ongengomlingane wakho olubandakanya ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwesondo. Oku kungaba yiyo nantoni na ukususela ekwabelaneni iimfihlo kunye nokutyhilelana imfihlo omnye komnye ukuya ekuthandaneni okanye nokuba neentlobano zesini.

Nangona imicimbi yeemvakalelo idla ngokubonwa njengeyingozi kakhulu kuneyomzimba, inokuba yingozi kulwalamano. Kungenxa yokuba ibandakanya ukungcatshwa kokuthembana, kwaye kunokuba nzima ukuyiphelisa. Ukuba ukhathazekile ukuba usenokuba nolwalamano lweemvakalelo, qhubeka ufunda ukuze ufumane okungakumbi malunga nokuba yintoni, iimpawu ekufuneka uzijonge, kunye nento onokuyenza ngayo.

Ulwalamano Lweemvakalelo Vs. Ubuhlobo bukaPlato

Kuqhelekile ukuba nabahlobo abasondeleyo besini esahlukileyo. Kunokuba luncedo kulwalamano lwakho. Okungalunganga kukuba ubuhlobo bakho buqala ukuwela umda bube yinto engaphezulu.

Kukho umahluko obalulekileyo phakathi kobuhlobo obunothando kunye nolwalamano oluneemvakalelo:

• Xa uthandana nomntu othandana naye ngokweemvakalelo, ugcina iimfihlo kwiqabane lakho. Oku kungabandakanya ukuthetha ngezinto ongazithandiyo ukwabelana ngazo nalo okanye ukufihla iincoko zakho kunye nokusebenzisana kwakho nalo.
• Ubudlelwane obungokweemvakalelo budla ngokuba nzima ngakumbi kunobuhlobo. Usenokuzifumana ucinga ngalo mntu rhoqo kwaye uzive wonwabile okanye uchulumancile xa uphakathi kwakhe.
• Imicimbi yeemvakalelo idla ngokubandakanya uxinzelelo lwesondo. Nokuba awuthathi nyathelo, kukho umtsalane omkhulu phakathi kwabantu ababini ababandakanyekayo.
• Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kunokonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho bokuqala. Ukuba uchitha ixesha elininzi namandla akho komnye umntu, kuya kuba nefuthe kubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho.

Ulwalamano Lweemvakalelo VS. Ukukhohlisa Okuncinci

Ukukhohlisa kancinci ligama elisetyenziselwa ukuchaza izenzo ezincinci zokungcatsha ezinokungathathwa njengokukhohlisa ngokupheleleyo kodwa zisenokwenzakalisa iqabane lakho.

Eminye imizekelo yokukhohlisa okuncinci ibandakanya:

• Ukuthandana nomnye umntu.
• Ukutshintshiselana imiyalezo okanye ii-imeyile ezisondeleyo okanye zesondo nomnye umntu.
• Ukuthanda okanye ukuphawula kwizithuba zomnye umntu kwi-social media.
• Ukufihla imeko yakho yobudlelwane kwimidiya yoluntu.
• Ukuthumela imiyalezo ngqo kwimidiya yoluntu kumntu omthandayo.
• Ukuthetha ngeengxaki zakho zobudlelwane nomntu ongengomlingani wakho.

Nangona ukukhohlisana nge-micro-cheating kungathethi ukuba uthandana ngokweemvakalelo, kunokuba luphawu lokuba awonelisekanga lulwalamano lwakho lwangoku. Ukuba ukhathazekile ukuba wena okanye iqabane lakho nisenokuba nikhohlisana nge-micro-cheating, kubalulekile ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyanisekileyo malunga neenkxalabo zakho.

Zithini Iimpawu Zolwalamano Lweemvakalelo?

Iimpawu zokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo zinokuba nzima ukuzibona, ingakumbi ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba ufuna ntoni. Nangona kunjalo, kukho ezinye iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ekufuneka uziqwalasele, eziquka:

• Ukuchitha ixesha elininzi uthetha okanye uthumela imiyalezo kumntu kunokuba uchitha ixesha elininzi uncokola neqabane lakho.
• Ukufihla imeko yakho yobudlelwane kwimidiya yoluntu.
• Ukuthumela imiyalezo ngqo kwimidiya yoluntu kumntu omthandayo.
• Ukuthetha ngeengxaki zakho zobudlelwane nomntu ongengomlingani wakho.
• Ukuthandana nomntu ongengomlingane wakho.
• Ukuziva unxulumene ngakumbi ngokweemvakalelo nomntu ongengomlingane wakho.
• Yenza izicwangciso nomntu ongengomlingane wakho ngaphandle kokumbandakanya.
• Ukucinga ngomntu ongengomlingane wakho xa kufuneka ugxile kwenye into.

Ukuba ubona naziphi na kwezi mpawu zokutsaleleka ngokweemvakalelo kwindoda ebudlelwaneni bakho, kubalulekile ukuthetha neqabane lakho malunga nokuba kwenzeka ntoni. Ukungayinaki ingxaki kuya kuyenza ibe mandundu kwaye ekugqibeleni kunokukhokelela ekuzibandakanyeni ngokwesondo okanye ekuqhawuleni umtshato.

Yintoni Ebangela Iingxaki Zeemvakalelo?

Kukho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba abantu babe neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngumcimbi nje wokutsaleleka kumntu ongengomlingani wakho. Ngamanye amaxesha, kunokubakho iingxaki ezifihlakeleyo kulwalamano lwakho ezibangela ukuba ufune ingqalelo kunye nonxibelelwano olubuhlungu ngaphandle kolwalamano.

Ezinye zezizathu eziqhelekileyo zemicimbi yeemvakalelo ziquka:

• Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo okanye unxibelelwano kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.
• Ukuziva ungakhathalelwanga okanye ungabalulekanga kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.
• Ukutsaleleka kumntu ongamaziyo (otshatileyo, njl.njl.).
• Isidingo sokuqwalaselwa okanye ukuqinisekiswa okungafezekiswayo liqabane lakho.
• Umnqweno wolonwabo okanye uhambo olungekhoyo kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.
• Ukudinwa okanye ukudinwa kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.

Ukudakumba kwamadoda kunye nemicimbi yeemvakalelo ngamava okubophana ngokweemvakalelo adla ngokwenzeka xa elinye okanye omabini amaqabane eziva engenanto yakwenza nomnye. Le micimbi inokuba yeyomzimba, yengqondo, okanye yeemvakalelo nje.

Xa iqabane lakho likhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo, linokuvakala ngathi libethelwe entliziyweni. Ungaziva ungcatshiwe, ukhathazekile, kwaye unesizungu. Ungaziva ngathi nguwe onetyala ngokuthandana kwabo. Kodwa inyani yile, iqabane lakho linoxanduva lwezenzo neemvakalelo zabo.

Ungayisingatha Njani Ingxaki Yeemvakalelo?

Yintoni omawuyenze xa iqabane lakho likhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo? Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho lithandana ngokweemvakalelo, kubalulekile ukuthatha ixesha ukuqwalasela oko ukuvakalelwayo. Kuqhelekile ukuziva ubuhlungu, umona, kwaye ungcatshiwe. Usenokuvakalelwa kukuba nguwe onetyala ngokuthandana kwabo. Kodwa inyani yile, iqabane lakho linoxanduva lwezenzo neemvakalelo zabo.

Wakuba ufumene ithuba lokujongana neemvakalelo zakho, kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukwenza ntoni ngale meko. Ukuba ugqiba ekubeni uhlale kulwalamano, kuya kufuneka usebenzele ekwakheni kwakhona ukuthembana. Oku kuya kufuna ixesha, umonde, kunye nomzamo. Kodwa kungenziwa ukuba omabini amaqabane azimisele ukwenza izinto zisebenze.

Ukuba ugqiba ekubeni ushiye ubudlelwane, yenza njalo ngononophelo. Qinisekisa ukuba unesicwangciso esiqinileyo oza kusenza. Awufuni ukwenza isigqibo esingxamileyo oza kuzisola ngaso kamva.

Ungawukhusela njani umtshato wakho ekuqhathweni ngokweemvakalelo?

Kusenokungabi lula ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukukhusela umtshato wakho ekuqhatheni ngokweemvakalelo.

Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa:

• Nxibelelana neqabane lakho rhoqo. Oku kuya kukunceda uhlale unxibelelene kwaye uphephe ukubandakanyeka ngokweemvakalelo nomnye umntu.
• Chithani ixesha kunye nenza izinto enizithandayo nobabini. Oku kuya kunceda ukugcina intlantsi iphila kulwalamano lwenu.
• Thembani ninyaniseke omnye komnye malunga neengcinga zenu kunye neemvakalelo zenu. Oku kuya kunceda ukuthintela ukungaqondani kunye neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu.
• Kholosa imvakalelo yakho yesisu. Ukuba into ayivakali kakuhle, mhlawumbi ayilunganga. Musa ukuyityeshela ingqiqo yakho kuba nje ungafuni ukujongana nenyaniso.

Ukutyala imali ngokweemvakalelo komnye umntu kunokuba yingozi kulwalamano njengokukopa ngokwasemzimbeni. Ukuba awulumkanga, kunokukhokelela kwintlungu efanayo, intlungu, kunye nokungcatshwa. Qaphela iimpawu zokukopa ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uthathe amanyathelo okukhusela umtshato wakho kolu hlobo lokungathembeki.

Imibuzo ebuzwa rhoqo

1. Ngaba Imicimbi Yeemvakalelo Iba Luthando?

Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kunokuguquka kube lulwalamano olupheleleyo, olungokwenyama. Nangona kunjalo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukuthandana kuphele kwaye kungabi yinto engaphezulu konxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo. Kuxhomekeke kubantu ababandakanyekayo kunye neemeko ezijikeleze ukuthandana.

2. Ungaxolela njani ukukopela ngokweemvakalelo?

Ukuze uxolele iqabane lakho, qala ngokuthetha nalo ngokwenzekileyo. Thetha ngesizathu sokuba ucaphukile kunye nendlela izenzo zalo ezikuchaphazele ngayo. Wakuba uthethe ngeemvakalelo zakho, nika iqabane lakho ixesha lokucinga ngento eliyenzileyo engalunganga. Emva kokuba libe nexesha lokucinga ngezinto, thethani ngoxolo.

3. Kutheni Amadoda Eneengxaki Zeemvakalelo?

Amadoda nemicimbi yeemvakalelo zihlala zihamba kunye kuba amadoda anamathuba amaninzi okukopa kunabafazi. Kwezinye iimeko, amadoda angonwabanga lulwalamano lwawo lwangoku aze afune ingqalelo kunye nokuqinisekiswa komnye umfazi. Kwezinye iimeko, amadoda anokuba neengxaki zobuqu ezifana nokungazithembi okanye ukudakumba, okunokubangela ukuba afune inkxaso yeemvakalelo kumntu ongaphandle kolwalamano lwabo.

Isiphelo

Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba iqabane lakho lithandana ngokweemvakalelo, kubalulekile ukunxibelelana ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo ngokuzolileyo nangentlonelo. Kuphephe ukuthetha amazwi okutyhola kwaye uvumele iqabane lakho lichaze indlela eliziphatha ngayo. Ukuba iqabane lakho alifuni ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyanisekileyo ngeemvakalelo zalo, kusenokuba lixesha lokuba ucinge ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane. Ukubuyela kwimeko yeemvakalelo kunokuba yinkqubo enzima nebuhlungu, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba uqhubeke kwaye wakhe ubudlelwane obusempilweni nobuhlala ixesha elide nomnye umntu.